Ending a good relationship reddit Nothing in common anymore. I pray good things are ahead of you and you’ll be happier than you ever thought possible! It really depends on the form and content of the argument. Can't entirely blame her. You may wish to communicate the issue with him when resolved. I choose to be rational instead of emotional most of the time. How many of us never asked the question and we’re neck-deep in some relationship we don’t She can't exactly end her relationship with her family. Let her know that you guys have sincerely tried to make things work, and you just aren't feeling it. It’s really hard for both of us. I could've picked up on my own, but it was good to have someone help guide me on a good path back to find myself. It seems like she has some challenges to deal with herself, and it just isn’t the right time for a relationship for her. Don't think about the good times. I am so selfish or just afraid to fully commit to a relationship. They should've already discussed these things long before they approached anything resembling the commitment of a marriage - after all, there's no relation I've been conceptualizing this series for the longest time. All advice given must be good, ethical advice. You'll still relive the good and bad times, and want to be back with them, but remember that it ended for a reason. The relationship is going good so far but I think I just want to see other people. I'll start by giving context. That type of break-up where he couldn’t even face me in person hurt more than the actual ending of the relationship. Let alone look for a “better fit” when I was in a good relationship. The relationship was a happy one with a lot of good memories. So, how to exit a relationship properly and respectfully? Here are 12 things to do: Do it face-to-face in an appropriate venue. He broke up with me and the reason is he’s not ready for a relationship. it’s one people start to question the validity of the relationship, if it will work, how hard it is, or if it’s worth it in the long run. I just cannot for the life of me think of a good fulfilling way to end it. Everyone knows when they’re in the wrong, they may not admit it at the moment as it is difficult to accept but over time they’ll definitely see it. No drama, I was close with her family, she was supportive of my goals and going back to grad school, etc. Think about the bad times. Truthfully, I think people have an incentive to lie when ending a relationship to preserve a sense of ending things on good terms and/or preventing additional problems. Good luck with everything OP, I genuinely wish you the best- whatever decision you go with. " This is especially true since you have mutual friends in common. Okay, good enough. we don’t really have sex or kiss or even really act like a couple. I've (31F) been in a relationship with (32M) for 5 or Sometimes it's nice to take a break and reevaluate things in the relationship, good or bad. I ended it. But I can assure you, six months on the heels of an awful relationship and an awful breakup, that is infinitely worse than ending things on good terms. Copy link Embed Go to Advice r/Advice • by Brave-Independence78. She asked me "would you two be friends if you weren't in a relationship?" Nope. “I am telling you something as opposed to asking you something and I am sorry that it is obviously horrible news for you but I won’t justify it anymore than I have. She's overwhelmed. I plan on enjoying it while I have it. If you have any questions, please send the mods a message. I'm going to end my relationship with my partner. But what I needed to understand is that ending a relationship is a unilateral decision, and that people leave good people that they may even love because love is not enough. I had no idea he was unhappy with the relationship. Imagine entering a relationship with a completely new person assuming that there is zero emotional labor involved and that it should just fit perfectly right from the beginning. I can't sit still and be consistent when it comes to our relationship. If there are problematic elements to the relationship that make it difficult, it is quite possible that they could be resolved through a careful discussion (though, of course, this is harder to do than it is to say). But you need to grieve at least once that the relationship is over. You leave this relationship just so you can go have sex with different people, there's no guarantee you'll have a good relationship in the future. Feeling like I want a relationship but there’s so much happening I can’t be a good partner so I quit on it. M[25] says he’s not ready for marriage or children. Now kill the relationship the same way you wanted to be killed just do the same with your relationship, even if you got used to emotional pain. You can help her get help, but you don't have to be her help. In the meantime your current partner will have moved on and he'll be a good SO for someone else. Expand user menu Open settings menu. But, when we are able to face what lies ahead and to work through this Good relationships can end for a number of reasons: People change over time. Now, with my current boyfriend, I should be scared of it ending, but I'm not. Those kinds of people, no matter how much you want to defend them as good people, are not. Whether it's any of those or not, the issue is this: She chose a new relationship over an established relationship. While I'm not saying it's the case, I would not be surprised if we're not compatible really means, we aren't compatible and I've found someone that I'm much more compatible with. Prior to this I was in a 7 yr relationship with someone who sounds like ur gf . There is also no way to avoid hurt feelings and emotional pain all around. We'll have to separate soon and I'll miss you but we both know we can't be together long term. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Your new mantra is, "dignified, classy and mature. Log In / Sign Up; Advertise on Reddit; Shop Collectible Avatars; Ending a relationship FOR GOOD . Well, yes and no. You either stick with it or you bail. Because of that, I would just shut down whatever I'm feeling and just sweep it under the rug. if someone truly values you, no matter the situation they will find a way to make it. Don't go out of your way to be mean to her. I am leaving this relationship because I don’t want to be in it anymore. Or check it out in the app Ending a relationship or settling in 30s . Make the hard decision and do what needs to be done. I’m sure he wants to look after your well being. I have thought about it for awhile and feel it is the right thing. Here's my feelings, sex is easy to find. Her current relationship isn’t perfect, but they are working on making a life together. This comes up all the time, I myself got tricked into a relationship with someone like this, and I have to tell you there is usually no good answers. if they start thinking to There is nothing to argue. Here's how to break up with someone as gently and effectively as possible. If they ever ask for clarification you can just reply "I'm leaving this relationship and I wish you all the best". There are lonely nights and lonely days, but feeling alone when you're with your significant other is far more painful than feeling alone when you are, in fact, alone. She said yes at the time despite knowing that we gonna be apart from each other for at least two years, and she is willing to come here, if I decided to stay here for work after finishing my master. Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now. Yeah this is possible, and I’ve been in a similar place before. Fortunately the good ones are not. Frankly, it's not going to be easy and it will end in tears. However, I can't say much about those that must get pregnant I'm sorry for keeping this vague but I truly want to know what you guys think when it comes to ending a long term relationship. Thank you for this time. Even 4 years is a long time to be in a relationship like this. OP might be approaching it differently but he’s trying to figure it out. He is a truly good and wonderful person, Reddit iOS Reddit Android Reddit Premium About Reddit Advertise Blog Careers Press. If the relationship is 'good', as you say, then ending it would probably be a mistake. I have come to the conclusion that I need to end my relationship that has more than 10 years. Previous would not discuss marriage and didn’t want kids. She possibly cared about you so much she felt she couldn't give her new relationship a proper shot with you still in her head and heart. It also sucks because he was like a best friend I can talk to every day but I can’t do that anymore. But she can end her romantic relationship , because i can't force her to stay like family. My best friend who I talked to every day, said good morning, good night and shared my routine with is no longer there. And absolutely go buy yourself a huge bouquet of flowers to celebrate your new journey to real happiness. That was not a good reason to get married. The 95% good relationships enjoy being with their spouses and are immensely happy to have them along this beautiful journey of life together. You know when you end a relationship with an intuition also means that gut feeling was all along with you from the starting of the relationship. You are looking for validation of that decision and you've obviously come to reddit because 95% of responses to any relationship issues on this sub are: Break up you OP is female. He is a truly good and wonderful person, This is wonderful and I'm happy with you right now. And now, much to your regr Ending a relationship is never easy. I promised myself to never be in a relationship where I can’t be the truest version of myself, and be free. To respectfully do it, tell them why the friendship is ending. Since this is the pandemic, and people are ending relationships left, right and center and there is no "good" way to end things since where I am we are "LOCKED down". It's still derailing if you are commenting to say that you regret starting the relationship or that you regret not ending it sooner. If you don’t tell them, there are people that have friendships like I do, my orbit in people is wide and varied, and I can reach out to someone after years of silence and we pick up where we left off. He’s not happy with himself. I don't really have a good relationship with endings. The break up was quite tough and the healing process is long. I’ve been dating this chick since December but we been kind of talking since July. But the only way to find a good relationship is the same way people find bad ones. Non-fiction, a solid love story, tried and tested, underground, theory or how-to, just want to de-grease my relationship processes. All you can do is nurture love for people who are good for you But, there is something wrong in your relationship: A lack of love and affection and attention. I (25f) was wondering if people would be willing to share their experiences with me? I recently saw a 10 year relationship come to an end, which from the outside perspective was completely unexpected, and it really got me wondering why people who have been fused together for a long time (10+ years) become unfused and separate, and how that happens. I just hate it because we are really good together, we don’t argue much and she is very mature. Relationships Hello! So as the title suggests, I've been mulling over a thought that Living together without the commitment We’ve been together almost 3 years. I guess if those two things weren’t present in my relationship that would be the end, but I can’t say unless I was in that position. After that, go out if you can, but do not go back on this decision. I agreed, I was obviously very crushed because this decision he made came out of the blue for me. You need to be empowered and that will empower you and he's not good enough for you. I suspect you’ve been on a rollercoaster ride of emotions with feelings such as disappointment, hurt, frustration, depression and anger about what’s been happening. super closed minded, didn’t want me to travel alone. You're 26, don't get older wasting more years in this doomed relationship. You just decided to ignore it. In my experience, people sort of realize that they If you’ve ever found yourself in a “perfect” relationship that ended but you don't quite know where it all went wrong, below, relationship experts weigh in on what may have happened — and I also struggled to see a future with someone who was a really great partner. I mostly went bc my mom wanted me to, but it was a huge help. Imagine facing a relationship ending doubt and thinking that the healthiest/ best thing for the relationship is to not communicate with your partner. If you’re comparison shopping for a better fit, that sounds Leaving a relationship can hurt the other person in various ways. I am a bot, and this action was performed I've found I have a harder time moving on with closure/a last goodbye than I do with cold turkey or an unpleasant ending. My parents separated after being together ~25 years. I know that me calling it a “perfect” relationship seems like a stretch but it really feels this way. They behave like an anxious profile during the relationship and are very affectionate as they genuinely want to to make the relationship work (as they fear not being good enough, as a classic anxious) until something happens in the relationship that triggers their insecurity (which is exaggerated due to their anxiety), then their brain Relationship should be about creating more good than each of you are separately, so everyone's a winner and better off than before relationship = nothing to cry and feel sorry about. If the latter, end the relationship and move onwards. it’s not about love imo, it’s about value. No need to be polite to someone who disrespected you. Or, authors. I think I have really promising characters, an interesting enough premise, and a pretty thorough lore. At least I was able to end this one on a good note. controlling, jealous. No one wants to be in a relationship with someone who doesnt want them. No fights, no dramas and no anger. He and I have our differences. I want to leave the guy I’m living with. " It's hard to move on in general, particularly when it was healthy, all I think is that I just kinda randomly met my ex and it just kinda randomly ended, good things can just randomly begin and end, I'm not saying that next good thing can be a new relationship but the suddenness of my relationship ending lead to the suddenness of me realising how much I truly appreciate people Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now. If you wait until you find the most painless it wont be the most painless solution anymore, so as usual time is ticking. We'll keep in touch and we'll always remember each other well and frankly, that's a better, happier ending than most relationships get. What a wonderful Birthday gift you're giving yourselfending this relationship for good. Either way, unless you're generally insecure and worrisome, I imagine you'll find some sort of peace - but you can't manufacture peace of mind, just keep trying to work towards being realistic and reminding I was the dumper in my first relationship with my ex and broke up with her almost 2 months ago. It took a long time for me to get over that one. and that’s exactly what I’m in now. I haven't left a relationship because of my depression and anxiety but I did have a girlfriend leave our relationship because of her depression and anxiety. Lots of masking, feigned intimacy, cutting each other off without much fanfare at the end. Or Thinking about ending a good relationship of 5 years at 35 Relationships/dating She's been great at working with me in the relationship, calm easy demeanor, loves me a lot and I feel it. I fear that if I let him go I will not find somebody as kind, but I do not think fear is a good reason to stick out a relationship. the whole nine. We have been together just under 2 years. This question is specifically for people who regretted ending the relationship. Not good at schmaltz right now, I'm trying to rebuild faith in the whatever and work on a different attitude. My first marriage was an example of getting older and not having anyone permanent by me. I would be exhausted (and unpaired) too if all relationships were like that. I feel horrible about it, but with all the pending "couples" calendar dates, I don't want to invest myself into it. Our relationship has been overall good - he's supportive, gets along with my family, makes time for me, always wanted to build a future together, and always rooted for me even when others didn't. It might be a good reason to end a relationship, but it's not a good reason to end a marriage, because you should already be aware of your limits and what you can/can't take from your partner, and vice versa. I’m happy to hear that you see ending a relationship as an option. She didn't say yes right away, because of our plans are different, that she was going to go home for good, but I wanted to stay in OZ for another 2 years for master's degree. We fight usually. I'm 36F, he's 39M, and we've been together for 14 years, and living together for the past 9 years. In hindsight though, those relationships really weren't meant to last but did teach me what I needed in order to keep a happy, healthy relationship. Lose and block their number. Here, two relationship experts offer advice on how to break up with someone you love, giving tips on how to navigate this less-than-ideal situation with Ending a relationship properly calls for mutual respect, grace, and maturity. as someone who was also broken up with due to long distance, i kinda think it’s bullshit. We only hear about the bad relationships out there. Probably, you’re here somewhat against your will, but you see no other option than the end the relationship with someone you still love. I am ending any relationship with the father of my child. Not relationships but I've had close friendships with other covert narcs. Many people that are in love can’t even think of it as a choice, because they are so so in love. I think you should carefully think things over. A good relationship? Not so easy. She tells me she loves me but I don’t think I feel the same. I feel like for me, if the ending turns out to be pleasant, it's easier for me to look back and say "well we ended on good terms, maybe there's a chance for another try". I'm not good with articulating my emotions, unlike her. Of course if you are ending this because they wronged you and you can't forgive them, just tell them you're leaving without wishing them the best. I could tell she would end up crying. Or and while I can't say I've had good relationships, the problems in those relationships had nothing to do with "the unforgetable one". Very long spiel/brain dump below but I’d really appreciate some perspectives on when ending a long term relationship is less clean cut. we’ve been together for 9 years almost. Skip to main content. Relationships should be built on love and communication you do not love her and you are not communicating with her. Open-ish relationship can work for some. It's in a relationship of a customer and prostitute both give up something precious to get something else. Try and practice mindfulness and staying in the present. It’s natural to have disagreements in a relationship. Just sit her down and explain that you're unhappy with the relationship or whatever is plaguing you. I cried a lot. You can find that anywhere. You haven't saved anybody the pain of an ended relationship, because the relationship would have ended anyways. It's over and it's time to move on. EDIT: my first official Reddit comment and I can't believe how many upvotes there are and the conversation that If shes's saying smack about you, quietly deny anything that wasn't true. The person at one point meant a lot to you and that doesn't make your relationship any less valid. Good luck friend. Or /r/Relationships is a community built around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal Considering ending a 'good' relationship after a year. I was married for 20 years and eventually ended it. But then there are other people I’ve been really enthusiast about and had heavy shit hit and I still stay with them soyeah. I was honestly expecting the same thing when her face was obscured. Also trying to figure out if the thing you want will make or break the relationship can be helpful. (Even though we're still friends, it won't be the same). I think knowing what you want in a partner is a good thing. I made a lot of mistakes since it was my first relationship and I If you had a good friend who described his relationship as 'good on paper' but with no spark, would you suggest he stay in it? If you intend someday to marry, or at least to be in a committed long-term thing with the right person, it puts a definitive constraint on how long to stay with nice-but-unsuitable relationships. And if the relationship is doomed to end anyways, then you haven't really gained anything by putting up with the sexless relationship until it ended. Sometimes things happen for a reason, but it can be hard to see it at the time. Ending a relationship . End it honestly, clearly, and compassionately. Like I said, it wasn't a good relationship and it's good that we get the chance to move on. Men in general are soft teddy bears inside. Ending a Relationship. At this point though, I feel like when you’re that certain of the relationship ending, it’s better to end it than to spend money and more than 13 years with someone you’re not meant to be with. He is the best person I've ever been with, and I have never been as in love with anybody else. We were best friends and there was no issues in the relationship. Or say, "I'm sorry she feels that way. If it’s about a mismatch in values or other big topics (finances, children, monogamy, ethics, religion), sometimes an argument reveals information that means continuing the relationship might not be wise. Our relationship is very weird. u/Express_Sort_9500 My mom sits down beside me and I can tell whatever my dad said to her wasn’t good. I am an introvert but can spend weeks at a time together and enjoy it all. And it's not longer because the relationship ended the second you decided it did. So after ending a relationship on the basis of gut feeling, I normally try to remember all my intuitions which I tried to ignore from the beginning. The good times we have are really good, but the bad times are really bad. So if the relationship ended abruptly whether it been 1 week, 1 month, or couples month. I was dating my (ex) girlfriend for three years and it was a great relationship. At least it seems like your partner is wanting to talk about things. We had some good times though and avoided being actively toxic towards each other. We don’t hit each other, nothing like that but it’s still awful. Don't let her mental health issues trap you into a harmful situation. It’s so hard because there’s plenty of good times and he’s quick to point it out. Although I'm sad about this relationship ending, To answer your question I don't think it stupid at all to feel sad about ending a 3 month relationship. Do not bully or harass other users. So ghosting isn’t a good answer. Just kept it all inside and then ended things. she is bound to them. Each time you find yourself worrying about the future or even daydreaming too far into the future catch yourself and focus on the present or reminisce about the past good times you have had together or if you must future focus switch to daydreaming about something in the future that excites you that is unrelated to your This is a good point and I’m sorry you’re in the same boat. After we divorced, I got some counseling of my own. Do not soapbox or promote an agenda - you will be banned. I think my relationship can withstand any challenge but I also know my boyfriend would never let a day go by where he isn’t meeting my needs and we are both willing to give up anything to close the gap. The drop in energy at the end always feel too sudden I've left a good relationship to do this and ended up losing my chance to get back in but I'm still glad that I ended it the way I did instead of trying to stay in a relationship I knew I didn't have the skills to navigate, and tanking it the way I had with everyone before him. We're in our early 30s and I knew she wanted to take things to the next level (marriage, kids, etc) even though she never pressured me for anything like that. Cry when you need to but don't make a habit of going over why the relationship ended. For example, If I found someone that I feel connected with and we enjoy each other presence it feels like we known each other forever. Good Ending's direction is easier to see by comparison, Shou while a nice girl that I like too, is a more obvious rebound than Rui. F[25] is not ready for Me and my ex of 5 years ended things on really good terms with each other. Long story. My experience from GE, knowing Sasuga's style from there, given that it was another love triangle did help quite a bit in seeing DomeKano's direction (until ch 249 but mainly pregnancy threw me for a loop 😅 and I had to see what was Sasuga's stance on that) . As far as a continuation of the story goes, I like to think that one day he's able to help her recover enough to live an almost equally normal life to her life during that summer, and that she becomes independent and conscious enough for them to actually have a relationship that isn't weird. I'm truly heartbroken because it was mainly my fault that I caused our former relationship to be strained. My boyfriend is a sweet guy and there isn’t necessarily anything “wrong” with him or our relationship. Regardless, you do not plant the seed of love, it is out of your control. But can't deny that it was unfair , and there's only All in all, I believe if you’ve truly been a good person while in the relationship, your ex will regret treating you badly. Follow reddit rules. If you did not regret ending your relationship, please do not leave a top level response as it will be derailing. He’s not a terrible person. When a love relationship ends we are suddenly alone, often feeling as if an essential part of ourselves has been cut off. Get app Get the Reddit app Log In Log in to Reddit. You know you deserve better, you know you don't have to excuse all this bad behavior and settle for crumbs. I guess we are just very different people. This was my first and only relationship but I'm not happy in it for many reasons: I don't feel valued, I don't have the affection, the caring and the love that I need and I end up complaining too much and nothing ever changes (And so much more than this) But while I know that I must end this 56K subscribers in the relationships_advice community. It’s a good and healthy point of view of your situation. I think I just came here to get advice on how to move forward, I don't want to think about him with someone else or imagine myself in a relationship anytime soon. Perhaps this relationship will end and as you cycle through more relationships you'll become accustomed to relationships and each break up will feel less helpless. She is probably somewhere on the "Asexual" spectrum. If the relationship is making you unhappy, it will also make her unhappy due to that osmosis problem people have towards others feelings. . ” Sounds fucking horrible right but trust me, it’s a good script to I (27F) have had a pit in my stomach because I feel like my perfect relationship with my boyfriend (27M) will have to end. 😔 I’ve been with my boyfriend for nearly six years, since I was 17. You often don't realize how hard it can be to be the one ending a relationship, so take time to do well for you. Lately, I feel like I've been stuck in this time loop of breaking down, expressing my concerns/grievances about my relationship to my SO, my SO promising to change and work on their problems, then things not changing and I'm back to breaking down. You need to see a therapist. How do I get to feeling okay about my son growing up without a father? And how do I stop feeling guilty about feeling sad about the relationship, even when my ex doesn't seem to care? You are in no way obligated to have an intimate relationship with this man. That's a huge, essential part of a relationship for most people, and you're not wrong at all for leaving a relationship that is lacking it with zero signs of getting better. I am a bot, and this action was performed If you stay in a relationship that you do not really want to be in your are not only doing a disservice to yourself and your well being but hers as well. You Why did you end a seemingly good relationship? My relationship with him taught me that even if someone is a great person, a lovely individual who cares about you-that doesn’t necessarily I have never felt the need to end a good relationship. If the former, end the relationship and correct yourself in future. Be thankful and respectful, carry on carrying on. That being said, you gotta assume the consequences of it getting awkward if it does, there’s almost never a good ending going around hanging out with your fwb, also I will really encourage you to be direct and avoid completely blaming your lack of interest emotionally towards your FWB on another person (like telling him you can’t be with I’ve never posted on Reddit before. Mine never did that. nbwpk mpcz rzsk iryzi fsez wmcmi xdniii mguiprx beipp covuf